Simple Kind of Life

I recently saw the interview that Oprah did with Tom Shadyac, the director of big time comedies like The Nutty Professor and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Tom Shadyac is an interesting guy with some pretty awesome ideas around the nature of human beings and how to reach true happiness. Tom previously lived in a mansion in California that consisted of 17 bedrooms, 13 bathrooms, huge kitchen, you get the idea. He talked about how in everyone's eyes he had reached much success but Tom was still unhappy. He was overwhelmed with all the people he to employ just to manage his large estate -- pool manager, kitchen manager, tennis court manager, etc. He said, " I needed a manager to manage all my managers." So what did Tom do? He left that life behind and bought only what he needed. The idea behind his philosophy is humans should only take what they need, just like animals. What did Tom need? He needed a double-wide mobile home, a nice mobile home, but just a mobile home. After watching the video tour of his home, I saw how nice it was, and how few belongings he had. Stepping into his closet he said, "I haven't gone clothes shopping in like 10 years." I was amazed but inspired by his lack of needing things. Tom basically said what defines happiness for each person is different, just don't take more than you need. For Tom, happiness was riding his bike, making more time for play, spending less time managing a lifestyle that was more than he needed. Tom also bought another mobile home which serves as his office. His team meets there and it had a nice eco-friendly feel. After reading up on Tom and his recently released file, I AM, I have to say, I'm taking a bigger look at what I need and not taking more than I need. I think the US is especially bad about doing this, as if owning more stuff proves to everyone else how much happier we are. I also watched an old episode of Oliver's Twist, Jamie Oliver's cooking show before he got famous and started a Food Revolution. I thought about this ideas around food as well. As Jamie is shopping, he is buying fresh ingredients, better quality food, then driving off to his simple home on his Vespa. Europeans seem to value quality vs. quantity so much more than Americans. We seem to speed through everything we do, including buying conveinance foods, and not make time for relaxation and play. When I am on my computer I am likely listening to a song, talking to Josh, yelling at the girls, and working. Not only am I less productive when I am like this, I hardly enjoy any of these things on their own. I like listening to music but it's not as nice if I don't get to pay attention to the lyrics. I like talking with Josh, but it's hard to carry on a valuable conversation when I'm so distracted. Being purposeful about what I'm doing and working towards more simplicity, seems to make a lot of sense for me. I've been thinking about changes I want to make in my life that will allow me to achieve this purposeful life. Eating good quality foods, enjoying the process of making something not rushing towards the end, slowing down to do something right, spending time doing the things that make me happy. As we have started building towards our next steps -- buying a home -- I'm keeping this in mind. Just because we can afford something, doesn't mean we need it.

Travels

I've been traveling quite a bit the last couple of months. In February I traveled to Philadelphia for work to begin working on my SAP certification. Following my training I met a friend that recently moved to Pennsyvlania for a weekend in New York City. It was my first time to NYC and I loved it. I didn't love the walking but everything else was great. I always thought NYC would be overwhelming and scary but it really wasn't. We stayed in Times Square and learned to use the subway. We traveled all over the city and had a great time exploring; we also saw Phantom on Broadway (very good). While there, I learned that Magnolia Bakery cupcakes really are as good as they are described, the John Lennon Imagine Memorial at Strawberry Fields in Central Park isn't very big, the FAO Swartz, shown in the movie BIG, is kinda lame, people in NYC are skinny because they have to walk so much, the Algonquin Hotel is really small and I don't know how Dorothy Parker and the Roundtable fit in such a small space, NYC in general is full of small spaces (another reason people are skinny in NYC), people are actually pretty nice and helpful, and I hope to return soon. Philadelphia on the other hand was a nightmare traffic and I really didn't care for it all that much. Last week I went to Las Vegas for a conference and Josh managed to join me the first part of the trip. We saw Eric Clapton in concert, got front row seats to see David Copperfield, and also caught Zumanity, the sensual Cirque de Soleil show. I think I enjoyed Zumanity the most. Eric Clapton was my pick but I really didn't care for the crowd and he was a bit boring in his performance. By day 4 I was ready to leave Vegas but Josh was just leaving and I had a whole week to go left alone. I have to say, Vegas is not my kind of place. It's full of superficial people, businesses, etc. The smoking, the drunk people, the fakeness in the way people behaved, it just wasn't for me. I think I could probably enjoy it in small stretches but never 8 days again!

New Year

2011 arrived with me tucked safely and warmly under the covers. We were invited to a party but I just wasn't in the party mood. I didn't (and still don't) want to say goodbye to 2010. I don't want to say, my dad died last year.

Instead we watched Going the Distance with Drew Barrymore and real life boyfriend, Justin Long. It was a cute movie with several laugh out loud moments. We also drank a little wine and attempted to relax. The relax thing hasn't been going so well for me lately.

Today was a little bit better of a day -- Mom and I finally got to spend some time together, just the two of us. We did a little shopping. I got several new sweaters and some bath stuff. I used some of my giftcards and ordered some cds that I want from Barnes & Noble. I've really gotten into the Bluegrass/Folk stuff lately. I ordered Justin Townes Earle's newest album, Harlem River Blues and The Garden by Ruth Moody. I also bought a book on mushrooms called Mushroom Miscellany. It has some really whimsical mushroom photos which I think are great.

The girls are at their mom's tonight so Josh and I are just going to hang out and maybe watch some Glee. Everyone keeps saying how good it is, we thought we'd check it out ourselves.

And so it comes to an end

On December 20, at 3:29 PM my dad was pronounced dead. He was 60 years old and I wasn't ready to say goodbye. What was scheduled as a routine hip replacement/ corrective leg surgery went dreadfully wrong and now I am left -- without my dad. I can't begin to explain the rage I feel or the hatred I have for the two men (so called doctors) that contributed to his death. One week ago today, my dad was laid to rest. My stomach has been in knots ever since, my world has been torn upside down and my mind fades in and out. I tell you this in my blog because 2010 will forever be the year of life changes. I married Josh, I gained 2 daughters, and I lost my dad. When I go through such sadness I do find that writing helps and this blog has been long neglected so I'm sure I'll come here to let it all out. I am not ready for 2011 mostly because I don't want to enter it under these circumstances. I am questioning all that I once had some sort of faith in -- society, God, myself, my friendships, and my hope. I am lost at the moment and know that things can't stay this way for long. I should want to live my life in a positive way, but right now I only want to escape from it. 2011 is going to be a long year.

Back to life, back to reality

So now that the wedding is behind me and the honeymoon :( I can now focus back on life outside of the wedding. It feels very strange because since I graduated from college, I've still been working on something (the wedding) and now that that's over with, I really don't have something that I have to give all my free time to. It feels strange but awkwardly nice because I'm just thinking about all things that I want/plan to do to fill up the time. Christmas is coming so that will fill some of my time but I'm wanting to set my attention back to a few things that were old priorities, before I got divorced, had to start my life over, get a new job, get promoted again and again at job, met Josh, got engaged, graduated, became a wife & stepmom and entered into this new phase of my life at the moment. So before all of that, there was this person that was very sad, and very lonely but not all of her was bad. See, she had a lot of hobbies and passions and did something about them quite often. She wrote, and read, and baked, and crafted, and decorated, and shopped (way too much) and volunteered. And did a lot of other things that I don't want to repeat but the point is, I want that part back some. I want to be working and thinking about some cool design or listening to new music while doing a craft. I can do this again and I'm so excited I feel like I'm on overdrive because I want it all now now now. And of course, I suddenly don't want to work... alot. Before the wedding, I was working a ton of hours and after coming back from the honeymoon, I just don't want to do it. I don't want to spend my evenings & lunches working. I want to finish my day and go home and spend time with my family, doing fun activities, and relaxing. I know this is how people can and do live, but it's not been a part of my life for a very long time. So I'm making strides to find balance and work in the fun stuff along the way. I hope to begin blogging again as well so I hope you'll join me as I start up again.

It's been awhile

Wow, I hadn't realized I hadn't blogged over here since March! Yikes! I guess the wedding blog has been getting all the attention. I could blog about the wedding stuff but it's already covered over on the wedding blog.

Things have definitely changed a lot of the last 6 months. First my sister got married in May. Josh and I went to Cancun for her destination wedding. I'll admit I wasn't really looking forward to Cancun -- I mean what is there really to do other than lay around, swim, drink and eat. I found that's all I really needed or wanted to do! It turned out to be very relaxing and now I'm in love with all-inclusive resorts. I'm sure my next vacation will be at one too. The next vacation after the honeymoon that is! The wedding was very nice and now that I'm coming up on my own wedding, I kinda wish I would have done something similiar because this wedding planning stuff is a lot of work... especially when you are as picky as me!

Josh and I also found a new house to move to. It's still just a rental but it will be a lot nice to live in. It's 3 br/ 2 ba and shoud work well for us. We're moving in starting tomorrow. It's been a bit stressful getting prepared to move while wedding stuff is going on but it's how the timing worked out so we just have to deal. I'll be glad when the weekend is over and our new house is put together. As a bonus, we have a holiday weekend the following weekend so we'll have an extra day off to enjoy the house ... or get errands done. I think I'm looking forward to cooking the most. I hate my kitchen here and the townhouse and the kitchen in the new house is so nice and modern. I can't wait to be inspired again.

Tori started kindergarten last week too! I can't believe she's in school now. She's going to be a great student -- her preschool prepared her well. She goes all day, 5 days a week. We're probably mean parents for that, but she loves to socialize and I don't think it's going to bother her one bit. Penny starts preschool in a couple of weeks and she is finally potty trained! She just had to make up her mind that's what she wanted to do. Last night she even got up after being asleep a couple hours to go; we were so proud.

I'm thinking this blog needs a big overhaul after the whole moving-wedding-honeymoon thing is over... so about November or so. I'd like to get back to blogging about the things that interest me, projects I'm working on, etc. Things will finally slow down then and I'll have free time once again. I'm already excited about the cooking, reading, decorating, crafting, etc. Can't wait!

Sigh

Things have been a bit slow since the first of the year. I'm so used to being busy that now that I'm not, I feel more unmotivated... why is that? I would think with more time on my hands the more I would want to do things. I feel that even less. Mostly I just work. I'm not doing a very good job of keeping up with friends either. It seems like now that I have more time, I tend to focus on the things that irritate or anger me more.

When I started over 4 years ago or so, I made huge efforts towards getting my life lined out the way that I wanted it. And for the first time in my life, I actually stuck with the plan and achieved many of my goals, especially in the school and career realm. Other goals I set out to accomplish I achieved and then let slip - such as friendships and hobbies. Health is in progress (30 lb down & a perfect check up) again but I'm not doing a whole lot to work on the friendships and hobbies. A couple of years ago I had tons of friends that I talked to daily, weekly, etc. We hung out all the time, went shopping, saw movies, etc. Now, I'm lucky if I get a couple of hours a month with my bestfriend. My hobbies were also booming -- I was writing, reading, cooking, making jewelry, sewing, seeking out new music, etc. Now, I do none of that... and I'm not sure why. I do have terrible guilt because I feel like all of my "free" time should go to Josh and the girls but I know that's not realistic or healthy.

Sometimes I don't do a good enough job of taking my own advice. I know that there has to be more of a balance. Part of it, at least the hobbies, is that I can't be alone in my own house. I can't hide and do something creative. I've always been a bit of a loner and I miss my quiet time. I also miss how productive I used to be. Every night of the week I was getting things done and feeling good about it... now nothing gets done and I don't even enjoy my evenings. I realize that this sounds as though I am depressed but I honestly don't think it's depression. I feel like it's another phase that I am supposed to enter but I haven't figured out how to get there... does anyone have a map?