I Don't Know How She Does It

I picked this book up several years ago and with the recent changes in my life, I thought it might be a good book to help me figure out this whole career with family thing. It didn't. It was actually a pretty awful book. It painted working moms as selfish, adulterous women. I can normally read chick-lit fluff like this in 3 sittings. This one went on for a couple weeks because I hated the characters, hated the lack of plot, and hated the way it portrayed women -- as if their place should be at home taking care of children and competing for Martha Stewart awards. I think if anything this book scared the crap out of me. If this is what normal is, I'm going to have to figure out what normal is for me.

The Weight

Ch-ch-ch-changes

So many things have been changing lately and I think my body hasn't caught up yet. This last Monday I found myself practically paralyzed due to back pain. I made it into work but didn't last more than a half day. It's been hurting ever since. I've done the Icy-Hot patches, Thermacare patches, Ibuprofin, and Loritab. This evening is the first time I've felt any relief and that's mostly in that I can actually sit up without tearing up! I feel so bad for not giving that much thought when people say they have backpain. Never again. Now I know it's serious business, I won't be dismissing it again. But I guess I should clue you in as to where this backpain probably stems from: stress. My stress levels are unusually high, even for me. Some of it's good stress, some of it's not. The deadlines that have been pushed out at work this year have been unreasonable. Maybe it's due to the economy or maybe it's just the corporate culture, but either way, it's done left it's mark on me. I really enjoy parts of my job but dealing with bad tempers and stubborn people, just leaves me feeling rather negative -- certainly more often than I'd like to be. I know part of it is up to me. I have to leave it at the door and tell people when they need to step back and give me some breathing room. School is also wrapping up. While the summer semester hasn't been difficult perse, it's been brief. So brief that I feel like I've had very little time to study or get anything done. I have a week and a half left, I think I can make it. Josh and the girls moved in last month. Things seem to be going relatively well but there is that stress in making my house our house. Getting the girls to listen to me. Adjusting to people being around all the time. And the cats just moved in today. So lots of things to work on all at one time. The only thing I know is that there is light at the end of this tunnel. I'm almost done with my BA. I don't know what will come next. I'd like to think it's the MMIS degree but somedays I just don't know if that's the right thing for me longterm. Josh and I are working on getting ourselves in the best financial place so should we decide to buy a house, move, etc. We have a fresh start. The only thing that doesn't seem to be letting up is work. So again, it's up to me to not let work run my entire life. I know I do a good job, a better job than I give myself credit for and I should give myself more breaks.

Jacksonville Vacation

I did it. I bought the tickets, booked the rental car, and scheduled the time off from work. I still need to book the hotel, but it's as good as done. I'm going on VACATION! It's been a few years since I've done anything like this for myself. Josh and I are headed to Jacksonville, FL and Savannah, GA in mid-August. I plan to see a couple old friends, revisit some of my favorite Jax places, and make a little jaunt to Savannah, GA to check out Paula Deens' restaurant, The Lady & Son's , visit The Flannery O'Connor Home, and take a Haunted Tour of Savannah. I'm very excited to have the time off and to step away from the rather stressful way of life I've been living. Everytime I've gone on vacation in the past, it's reminded me that there is more to life beyond trying to keep up with the rat race. I think this vacation will do the same thing. And I will have a full 10 days away from work. I have missed Jacksonville quite a bit since moving away in 2001. I always thought Jacksonville was a great a place to visit, I just didn't want to live there the rest of my life. Quite frankly, I can't stand the traffic! And I missed my family. My family that has now almost all moved away.... but I guess that's life. And I wouldn't have met Josh if I hadn't have moved back! I found a website I've grown to love rather quickly, Trip Advisor. I've already started planning trips that Josh and I have mentally planned over the last few months. It's a great place to store the things that you want to do in the future.

Simple Living

A few years ago, right after my divorce, I started taking steps towards living more simply. I even bought the book The Simple Living Guide and started trying to form the life that I really wanted to have: a simple one. When I moved into my own place (post-divorce) I was fully focused on the effort. I was purging things left and right, thinking through my purchases, focusing on quality vs. quantity, cleaning up my eating act, and overall living more green. This last year I lost my focus. I haven't done well on the eating, the purching, the organizing... I've let a lot of what I accomplished go. And I want to get it back. I'm going to retrieve my Simple Living book (from the clutter of books I've got) and work back towards the way that I truly want to live. I know that this is going to be a challenge with Josh and two girls living with me now, but I also know we are building a life the way we want it to be and there is no better time to start than now. I wish we were moving into a home of our own, it would make it feel like we were starting out fresh together. But I'll take what I have and make the best of it. And I suppose that part of the idea around simple living is actually saving money, not spending it. I have a few areas that I am going to be focusing on:
1) Eating: I want to step away from prepackaged foods/convienance foods/ eating out. I want to cook healthy meals with food that is more fresh and natural.
2) Exercise: I want to reclaim an exercise routine. This will include the gym but also the simple pleasures of going for walks and such.
3) Home: I want to minimize the need for stuff, gadgets, mostly junk. I think the kitchen is a fine place to start.
4) Purchases: I want to be more thoughtful in my purchases. Not just buy something on a whim because it gives me instant gratification.
5) Pleasure: This is the place I want to focus the most. Right now, I'm not finding a lot of pleasure in life. I'm too stressed, tired, or moody to enjoy myself. Simple pleasures should bring me more joy, like sewing, cooking, reading, playing with the girls, or just watching a movie with Josh. So I'm going to work on this as well. And I'm going to try to take a much needed vacation.

So that's my plan. Simple Living.